so i'm wanting to spell lke the ARabic sound like youre clearing your throat.
like ugh and blech together.
like ichgh...or ughch......i am an expert with that sound.
And there was a reason i wanted to start witht that onomatopoeia.
ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm????????
my house smells like unfixed male cat peepee
that's not it.
He smells so good though. like my granny's perfume....some old orange blossom thing.
Maybe, ding ding, here it is.
I get excited, if there's abit of cash to blow, or even if i can jsut get out after having been cooped in cally for a few days, to just get groceries or something.
So, i plan, somewhat, not my strong suit.
i plan on what to buy....eveyrone tells me to keep a list to keep organized and remember what to do , but i make them and lose them. find them later and reminisce.
and down into this little burrow.......I LOVE, LOVE!!!!! finding discarded shopping lists. (belonging to others)
so, back up, i go to the store, list in hand, or pocket, or the fathoms of my purse/s...bags, satchels.
and we go in, and we're ok for awhile, then all the people start to get to me, and seeing the money disappear, and the looks and energies that some people emit and they look like they want to kill you.
and i come home exhausted, frustrated, questioning everything.
The other day, after a few stupid incidents, i forced the children to help me carry things and wished to be in the middle of a hundred acres....yeah, so serial freak-asses mayb e watching, but my god, how wonderful to only hear or see robins, and hawks, and titmice, and starlings and squirrels. and all my buildings i'd have.
I remind myself of the woman from the Martain chronicles( mininseries, but i think i might like to attempt the literature) who has free reign of everything. i just wants lots of buildings....
We went once to this place here at the fairground...it was a girlscout thing with which i wasn't impressed, and that is unfair of me because they were doing their best, but the building had captured my attention and i visualized it being mine.
And it was huge and ugly. a big metal roofed and walled, concrete floored structure...Freezing in the winter, sweltering summer oppression. I could see a corner with a refrigerator and a stove and some counters and a sink. and shelves with a rolling staircase and a cold metal balcony around the perimeter....and just so much space.
I'd fill it in no time.
but i'd somehow get lots of machines.
and lots of tables and things on casters.
hydraulic things.
air compressed
and speakers with awesome woofers or subtweeters.......i should make myself learn those.
oh, and a wall of things that light up.
I'd have lots of those things on a hundredacres.
and make big vintage pooh beings.
maybe sculpture
Epcotlike
grapevine or chicken wire with flowers blooming, or covered in moss.
and lots of spriraling topiaries.
the Garden of Abdul Gasazi.