another endeavor, half empty as it may be, is to write of the material things i wish i had not discarded, or wish that i had gotten from the garbage heap i spied while walking, or wish that i'd had the cash to purchase.

1) this big beautiful oak, I believe, chest. From this 2nd hand place up on SouthSide Blvd...Probably 8 years ago.....Was with Mama-in-Law Doris....I had separated from her and found my way to this golden amazon....Not super Amazonian because I was taller than she, but she was "busty", or maybe broad shouldered.....wider drawers toward the top, tapering down to small compartments. Seemed to have some mirrors, vanity like up top too. So golden brown....beautifully aged wood grain.
She truly was gorgeous....
But what really made her so devestatingly desirable (and I;m aching thinking of her) was that when i opened her top most drawer, she held inside her wide, but slim, box-of-a-cavity TEETH.
Beautiful pearls.....Small dentures...so beautiful...(they were not like the wind up things one sees on Efferdent commercials...these were delicate, and shiny, maybe samples, looked sculptural)
I obsessed over her for many days, probably into weeks, but convincing my husband to pay the few hundred for the piece that would have taken-up a large area of our small townhome (that was already brimming with my incomplete thought) was not an undertaking i wished to expend energy upon...We'd most likely been fighting over other things, as was the case for the first 17 or 18 years of our marriage.

2) just recently...some, 2 or 3, old suitcases sitting outside of Ms. Gina's home daycare...
One was red, old plasticky Samsonite looking thing...Red molded handle.
Was with the hub again, so he'd have refused to go back.
And imagine what gunque may have been inside...old smells, probably not the good old books, and axle grease kind of aromas one encounters in quaint vintage shops.
So, there they remained, to be rained upon, pissed upon, crushed by the compactor.

3) again, in the rain, a lovely pile of National Geographic maggies.
Mark did refuse that time....and that would have been fab.
I did find a heap once at the Teacher Depot at J. Gorrie....i couldn't get them all, got quite a few, and they have the beautiful burgundy storage boxes with them....God Dern, I wish I'd gotten them all.....

4) wish I'd never parted with my funky Shiny Brights
I swear to God it seems as if shiney should have that e...because it looks like shinny...."that girl's a handsome sort, but i swear she's got to have the biggest shins I ever did see."

The reason I let Mark drive off with them to be taken to a thrift store is stupid.....and then, a year or so later i see this kick-ass ugly metal tree, so beautifully dull and cold, but loaded with the same GD ornaments that i let go....it was gorgeous...I still have the mag and will scan the picture one day......I miss them terribly....Have since purchased more, here and there, some very similar, but in my greed (and i do admit to that flaw, i consider it more of a vice because i like it and I usually only want bunches of shit that nobody else does, and i think it's because i like the underdogs and the the potential in what seems done-for)...um, back up...um, in my greed i wish i still had the once i sent away......never enough in my book.

I know there's a 5....something to do with beads, and my english cousin, and prince

Side Bar: I saw a black family last night at Walmart....we went to get groceries and aquarium salt and little pet shops for sissy and her brother. (bro acted like he wanted the black cat with the carved gourd basket, but then decided upon army men and razor wire and 2 cheap military aircraft all bagged together for four bucks)
This was a very cute nuclear type of fam....(standing at doors from Ggarden Ccenter into pet Ddepartment, having a conversation with someone they'd run into, holding his bag of something)
Daddy was not atypically dark...Mama was very light...and had flapper like hair and i swear to Hosannah, looked like Prince. so muchlike him.....she was delicate and creamy and pretty. Probably had a beauty mole....maybe below the left corner of her mouth....not certain.