It's thundering and lightning here.
But there is no rain.
I've watched a sillylove story
And i wish the rain would come to wash away piteousregret
I've fallen for the actor in that role
and would do just as the heroine,
But how true is any of what feels right?
terribly fleeting

Sacrifice and
Martyrdom
Nothing radical, just easy, resigned, settled
aging
Andhow different are you really from what you were?
Probably not very.
Regret
resignation into oblivion
And lots of jealousy

Regret
But you thought you tried
And it just wasn't enough
Not good enough in some fucking book.

Others' opinions mattered so much
and they'd be different now, but far more damaging and damning
tsking and tsking and tsking

And the comparisons and competition,
again
Not so different from before.

The audio storm has passed,
no rain to show for it.
stiffened neck, pain into my breast
the electrical warmth will welcome
and I might dream of a gaze, intent to stare, imagine
Maybe dream of a kiss which will summon the storm into my room
For just this night.







(i'm afraid he knows, and alternatives are far too costly, and so very trendy too, and it's all rather sad, misplaced...unfortunate, and lonely, blah)
I dreamt of him, in a room, modular rectangles, high into the atmosphere, and his mate smiled and laughed, and wove in and out of the rectangle, and i walked about the space and looked out the thin highplaced windows at the trees and city so far below, expanding out, with water bordering it all
and he sat and watched all of it.
I watched him watching me look
and I watched her move around, smiling, giggling at something, beautiful shoulder length hair, such a nice smile, warm


Ah Ha!!!!! you've come back my quiet little thundercloud......