What a beautiful day it seems to be. I do believe I will feel cold on my arms and face when I step outside. The sun will help to lift my spirits further.

the book i'm reading is infuriating. Not unlike the persecution of European Jews. to have treated women, men, children, elderly as such....manacled...having to pay for your iron bracelets....having to pay for your trial and eventual execution...and, if there were no coins, the food is taken from your home...right in front of the remaining 2 or so family members, very young children, left unaccused at the moment. Dolls, known as poppets, ripped from the arms of 2 year old babies because they are used in spell casting, pinpricking to torment the foaming dervishes who've incited the frenzy. Women and teenaged girls bleeding on themselves, nothing to help clean or disguise the rusty stains left on their filthy garments. Lice attaching to your scalp not long after you've been shoved into a cell that holds 6, but is brimming with 15 and 20 accused...
The history of man is rust stained.

me thinks it may have to do with self absorption.....way too sado-spongey

there's always been a lonliness to my life. sad and violin like i feel, a lot of times.
How does someone make friends that are genuine and sibling like? and then keep them through all the changes of time......
I look at people I've known for a long time, and at people I've just recently met, or re-encountered....They have so many people who seem to care for them. call them to do things...respond to their thoughts....respect their thoughts....hold them in high regard....
what fucking planet or hole am i from? ain't nobody gonna get a word in...edgewise...and i don't know what edgewise means...maybe trying to slip something in at a different orientation....like, sneak it in.
HOw do you get half-way through your life and just kind of start really seeing what's going on around you and wonder what in the hell you've been thinking or doing all these years...HOw do you just realize now what makes you tick...or tock...tic? toc?...
And who are all these people who like what i like???? and they've been encouraged to pursue their likes and people like them for what they like and what they're like.
Bloody Fear...
Or the best is people who act all interested and responsive, then as time moves on, you tarnish in their eyes....Just not as dazzling no mo...Blech.....I feel contemptuous at times, then in love with all of them in a flash.
You've settled...didn;t take risks...that wasn't reasonable...safe....Strive for the manicured lawn darling....someone to take care of you. You'll want a perm when you get older.

my bird is meowing as i type.
She also keeps saying "Girrrl"
Now she's talking to the dead beagle...asking him if he wants a walky.
mumbling in my husband's voice.

My children are beautiful. And that makes me cry...
How can they be so beautiful?
My daughter loves life. My son gets pissed off a lot. he's 4...threatens me....I laugh...then he gets really pissed, then i pull his hair....hold him down.....bite his neck.
I'm terrified of their growing tired of me...
For now, they enjoy me...most of the time...
I'm asked, or maybe told, to leave sometimes.
that makes me laugh too.
they are so beautiful.

my fish are beautiful too.
my young cat too
my old cats are prettier since i've let them stay inside,
but i find frickin' puke all over the place...and it's not hairballs...i know hairball puke.
that's my one and only cat peeve...
young boy kitty's pissin' around a few places.

Speaking of piss...
they story i'm reading of the witch trials in Salem refer to urinating as pissing...like, it's ok to say it...not a bad word...and ass, in reference to bottoms, they use as well....

i love that book...
and the sunsets from my front yard...with the moon peeping behind me.

sweet

the buggar moved too much

tried to chase the white bar

got beautiful shots of his sandy coat

currently scanning...after cursing at it.
The young cat has crawled onto it. Have decided to scan him.
Curious to see the outcome.
had some fabulous images of him, but he moved as the accept scan was happening.
had all sorts of rectangles of his feet, pads & claws...and nose